25 Years of Wan M. Amien

I have been alive for 25 years now starting from today and throughout those 25 years I have been blessed to have such a loving family behind me, who forgive my many-many faults that I have made in my life. I remember once, I think it was five years back, I once said to my family that I don't feel like I'm in the family, rather this awkward outsider that just happens to be living under the same house. As I got older, I realized that they were always there for me whenever i needed them, I was just too blind to realize it then. I also have this tendency to let my family down time and time again, something that I hate doing. I have failed my family so much throughout these 25 years and somewhere deep down I am sad that I have never made them proud, I was always the odd one out, the idiot of the family and 25 years later it still hasn't changed that much. I have never blamed my family for anything, its has always been my fault. Everything, was my decision, its my fault. I have said sorry millions of times before, I also said that I'll try harder but I continue to fail them. Bottom line is, I love my family every single one of them, from my parents, my sisters, my brother-in laws (and that goes to Abg Latif to :) ), my nephews and nieces, I would take a bullet for them anytime. I don't want to let them down but I always do, I donno, as I'm reflecting back, I remember the days when I was a kid and everything seemed so perfect...then you grow up and realize that not everything you hope and dream for actually happen. After 25 years, I think I've only done one thing worth shouting about, graduating. I didn't even go to the convocation, that must have broke my parents hearts. After 25 years, its time to move on and find another spot to yell, I think its time for Wan Muhammad Amin to grow up.